My Heart's Canvas!!

Life's voyage!

2010-04-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

As I glance towards the road's end

A cruise starts on its new voyage!

My hopes spring up quite unbend

A new start follows life in earth's stage?

What would I do when I had no job?

Would people eat or hunger anymore?

Death was the end for all needs and sobs

But never can know what else is in store!

Were those wise who abandoned pleasures?

Or did fun lovers make a good choice?

Did I really believe deeds were measures

That judged my end and gave me no voice?

Life and purpose,still a mystery unrevealed

What I wished for, never gave it twice a thought!

Am I living my chance to get my soul healed?

I stare away,seeking the peace a new chance brought!

Pondering..

2009-08-18T13:17:00.000-07:00

Beside my window stands few dripping willows,

Peeping along inside, with half bent pine trees

My eyes wake up to these, lying on cozy pillows

Mornin I say to them and think of egg and cheese!

I was asleep when sky laid white blanket on earth

And now papa sun takes it off and wakes me up!

I smile at life and everything that makes it worth

As I look around, sipping my morning cup!

Am no sculptor, am no artist, but I have it in me

To carve and paint this new day, as I want it to be

Past can drag along, but not lead the future way

Better than yesterday should be each coming day !

Earth's still rolling and my mind's still wandering,

Time's someone never bothered by our life design!

Yet its good to take some off and do some pondering,

You never might know when a good thought shines!

Season Swings on me!

2009-07-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

Wishing for a bright new day

Was a dream on every winter grey!

High spirits and fun was summer's way

And I did wish it should always stay!

When all sun fun were wearing away soon

And sweat smells lingered around in June,

I wished I could fly to the coldest part of moon

And thought a cool breeze was the greatest boon!

Come , I call you fall days , cool our eyes a while

With your light chilly winds, let me not strain to smile!

I hope those days are far, when your leaves lay in piles

For heart seems lifeless when, bare trees stretch in miles!

Summer smiles, hearing my woes,

Disappears as if I gave it a blow!

Sends me along a light shower show

And finds me again loving the summer glow!

They add colour to life!

2009-07-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

Why is it that I always go for that black skirt or black top even when I have atleast 5 of them?? And why do I always think about the lovely whites as angelic no matter how many times I see them in my life? I always liked the Royal look of a black car and the rich feeling of the daily chauffeur-washed white car..these two colours never stop to amaze me in themselves..but they amaze me in yet another way..they become a great background for any portrait that is drawn on them..They do a wonderful job of bringing other colours to life by being their shadow and filling the blank spaces they leave..they are what showed me how a person can be a glorious personality to the world brimming with elegance and pride and yet be that great friend who can bring out the best in us by giving what they can to fill our weak points! These are the friends who make us feel we are the brightest colours of the world..these are the friends who demonstrate the beauty of the other colours by showing the darkest night or the lifeless snowy days in them...but these are the friends who we forget, for their sacrifices and humility..these are the friends to whom we show our pride and mock ..the same wonderful friends who stood behind us to showcase our true colours ! The same wonderful friends who never boasted of their beautiful dark nights or their heavenly white snowy days..but yes..when twilight shines on a lovely green tree, its radiance is unparallelled to any shadow at dusk or any snow flake at night..and yet the rainbow of the fall colours shall not stay forever...and yet the dark nights and passing winter flaunt ur beauty o colours!

Solitary Winter!

2009-06-14T16:41:00.000-07:00

Inspired by homeless poor people in cold countries..

When days are dark and numbing cold

Not a tree has a leaf that acts very bold!

For who could stay in the freezing storm

When life makes a blank white transform!

Like nature's mourn, the silence creeps,

Seeking a mate, the cold wind weeps,

Roads disappear like in middle of the sea,

And here we stand, solitude and me!

Ask or not,the weather changes unknown

Wish or not, I need to work to the bone!

No bird came by for a friendly chirp this day

Come hard cold days in life,all stay away!

Let sun shine and colours rise from ground

Friends are many to hold hands around!

The smiles stay lit as long as its bright

Winter awaits, and I stand alone in fright!

Love you daddy...

2009-05-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's day to all dad's

When I arrived in this beautiful world

Dad, you were there waiting patiently for me!

when I cried to get things done or acted bold

Dad, you watched smiling and melted to my pleas!

When I asked you about a million things I saw

You told me nice stories and made me learn!

And when I felt bad and pointed to my flaws

You inspired me and cooled my heart burns!

When I grew up and fumbled on teen thorns

You heard me always like a friend on my side!

When I was lost in the paths of future and torn

You guided me around with doors of hope wide!

When I was asked am I a daddys little girl

I looked into their eyes and gave my biggest smile!

When you looked happy and proud of your pearl

Dad did u knw I was more proud to have you in my life!

You said little but you showed me your deep love

I was eager to fly but I knew you wanted me close

You always found a reason to call me home

I knew it was your fathers affection at its most!

When my days were good, you were there to share

When my hours were bad, you came to hold me up

I am so blessed, am so grateful and I have a happy tear

When I think of my great loving daddy , my dear pops..

Mom, I love you..

2009-05-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to all loving moms, all over the world!

Mom, do you remember how you were

When I was small and crawled here n there?

You were around like an eagle on watch

And kept me away from the edge of the couch!

My angel on earth, I were for you

A part of thy body, mind and soul.

And when I was hurt I always knew

It was pain for you beyond console!

Sweet little lamb you taught me to be,

Gentle and loving but bold to hold on.

You lived to show me how I should be

Am grateful each day for such a dear mom!

I owe my life ,love and dreams to you

That you prayed for and made it all true!

I hope you live long to hold me when I fall

May you forever be happy and loved by all!

An angel from above!

2009-04-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy: google :)

I know not if I belong here

I see those which I could never bear

I know not how they speak in fear

I feel that they are devoid of care!

I was sent with promises of love

They gave me as a gift from above

I was told they'll hold me like a dove

And now am alone, where art thou?

I long to see the womb which held me

Was our bond broken with the cord for thee?

Hold me once, its a heart felt plea

I came for you,couldnt you see?

They called me angel from where I came

A useless birth is what you name

I know we could never be the same

I die an angel today,without a life of shame!

Note: The 'cord' referred in the poem refers to the umblical cord which connects the baby to its mother and is cut off after delivering the child.

Long Live My Friends!

2009-04-21T07:40:00.001-07:00

Crispy green mornings and summer shine

Moist small grasses with gleaming dew smile

I wake to walk in this refreshing dawn

And glance at my garden for new beauties born.

Singing along with cuckoos I wander

And see my butterfly friends yonder

They sweat me with their chasing game

Their colourful wings are what I blame!

The creek on my roadside gave a silvery glow

I sat on its rocky lap and forgot all woes.

Then came along my friendly breeze

Splashing water playfully upto my knees!

My mighty sun's rays patted me to remind

It was time to keep them out of my mind.

The half built sky scrapers now came to my sight

I pray for another day with my friends as I Write!

പതിവ്രതയായ സന്ധ്യ

2009-04-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

ഉഷസ്സും മധ്യാന്ഹവും മെല്ലെ വിട ചൊല്ലവേ
അവര്‍ണ്ണ്യമാം അഴകോടെ അവള്‍ മുഖമുയര്‍ത്തി
ദൂരെ നിന്നെങ്ങോ മടങ്ങിയെത്തും തന്‍ പ്രിയന്‍റെ
നിഴലില്‍ അലിഞ്ഞു ചേര്‍ന്നീടുവാന്‍ !

കാത്തു നിന്നു സൂര്യനും അവളെ ഒരു നോക്ക് കാണാന്‍
ആഴിയിലേക്ക്‌ മടങ്ങാന്‍ ഒരു തെല്ലു വൈകി നിന്നവന്‍
വാതിലുകള്‍ അവനു മുന്‍പിലടഞ്ഞു നിന്നു
അവള്‍ സൂര്യനില്‍ നിന്നും മറഞ്ഞു നിന്നു

പൌര്‍ണമിയായി അവനിന്ന് പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചു
അവളും അവന്‍റെ പ്രഭയില്‍ ശോഭിച്ചു നിന്നു
ആ പുളകത്തില്‍ പ്രപഞ്ചം കോരിത്തരിച്ചു
പ്രേമ സുന്ദരമായി എന്നും ആ നിമിഷം !

കണ്‍കോണിലൂടെ അവള്‍ തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞു
ഒരായിരം നക്ഷത്ര നേത്രങ്ങള്‍ പാഞ്ഞെത്തുന്നതും
വിരഹ ദുഖിതയായി അവള്‍ പോയിമറഞ്ഞു
ചന്ദ്രനെ സ്നേഹിച്ച പതിവ്രതയാം സന്ധ്യ അവള്‍ !

Chicken Stir fry With Red Chillies !

2009-04-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

As am new to blogging and in experimenting stage, I deleted this post which i wrote sometime back and am reposting it again! Sorry to bother you again with this old post!!

I am not an expert in this field..But once in a while I do expect some magic to happen with a new dish I plan to try. The maximum I do to change a recipe from its original form is adjusting the ingredients to my taste n may be adjust the spice levels too. But today I wanted to have a chinese menu. Am a great lover of chinese and thai food and I can eat it at any time of day!! What I had in mind was a chicken stirfry with lots of soy sauce and red chillies . I tried to google it out as usual but then I had to drop off those recipes because atleast 2 to 3 ingredients in those recipes weren't handy. My cousin sis Maria who usually comes to my rescue at these moments was blasting her friday night in some part of bahrain and I had to close out that option too. I tried to get a recipe from my friend Shabna who recently made achicken and soy sauce dish for her hubby on her first engagement anniversary[isnt that sweet?] .But she was busy with some work and I was out of luck again. Then i decided to take a bold step and thought of giving it a try with the few ingredients I had. Strictly speaking this is my second attempt on inventing something in kitchen.The first was an "Indian style Hot Dog olathu" .I will definitely share its recipe some other day. Back to the recipe part. I am not sure of the quantities I used and I wont say it tasted bad :).It sure did ignite my taste buds a bit. And when the chicken was done I felt ok to go ahead with fried rice, for which i got the recipe from here :

http://www.mariasmenu.com/chicken/mixed-fried-rice-20

[I made a chicken fried rice as I didnt have beef and prawns :D]

For marinade

------------------

Chicken breast cut into thin cubes/strips- half a pound

Dry red wine - 1 tbsp

corn starch- 1 tsp

thick soy sauce- 2tsp

For preparation

--------------------

Onion- 1

ginger grated- 1tsp

garlic grated - 1/2 tsp

black pepper powder - 1/2 - 1 tsp[ depending on spiciness preferred]

red chillies whole - 7-8 pieces

spiceless chilly powder- 1/2 tsp [ can use red colour a pinch mixed with 2 tsp water and 1/4 tsp corn starch as substitute. I used redchily powder here]

thick soy sauce- 4 tsp

Dry red wine - 1tsp

sugar - 1/2tsp

lime juice - 1/4 tsp

salt- as necessary[soy sauce contains salt]

vegetable oil - 4 tsp

Method

-----------

1.Marinate the chicken pieces for half an hour to 1 hour with the marinade mentioned above.

2. Heat oil in a pan and add red chillies..when they start changing colour take them out and add the chicken pieces to the oil...oil will smell slightly of the chillies.. stir fry them for few seconds and remove the chicken from the pan. Add more oil if necessary [abt 1tsp] and saute onion , ginger and garlic. when they turn soft add pepper powder and stir for 30 seconds. Then add the chicken andred chillies kept aside and stir fry for few mintues..add chilly powder/colour and stir for 2 minutes.. then add soy sauce, red wine, sugar,lime juice and stir for 30 seconds..... switch off the stove and garnish with chopped green onions. Serve hot.

Note: I'll be quite happy to hear any suggestions or improvements on this!

What if..will you?

2009-04-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

What if the dawn said goodbye today

And never came back to remind a new day

Will you be able to know the difference

When you live unaware of light to night?

What if the storms took few houses along its way

And made some shelterless and starving all day

Will you be able to hear their cries and feel pain

When all you care about is adding more to yourself?

What if the stars dont blink anymore

And if the moon lost its path around us

Will you be able to miss their presence

When your eyes and mind are blurred with lust?

What if the ice melts from the Arctic

And what if the sun heats Sahara more

Will you ever care for anything but you?

Will you ever live for any future but now?

A me-me tag on me!!

2009-03-20T12:29:00.001-07:00

Now..what do i write abt me? And tht too which are those 25 things that i should write? These were the first questions that zoomed up in me when i saw me tagged by my cousin Maria. She herself has written quite a set of nice facts abt her that gives an insight into her other than the culinery side and she has framed it in a hilariously funny way too..

Coming to facts abt me..well..here goes...

1. I am very talkative. I do have a starting trouble at times.But once the ice breaks, there is no stopping me. At home ,my main competitor used to be my mom and we took turns in telling my achan[dad] about the days events. Now I torture my hubby with my talks, constantly reminding him that he should be attentive to me and thus take care of his marriage vows[I know there isnt anything coming directly under the vows saying u have to listen to ur wife talk. But I elaborate the caring part to suit my purposes].

2. Music is my constant mood lifter, my consoler and my all time favourite time pass. I love day dreaming listening to music and empathizing myself to some really gorgeous movie star.

3. I love to read...especially investigative stories. And once i catch hold of one of those books, am glued to my spot till someone reminds me about food! I like to write too when I feel I have something to tell the world!

4. Kitchen has been one of my favourite spots from when I can remember. I used to take great pleasure in seeing the process of cutting veggies, cleaning fish especially prawns or shrimp, and try my hand at sauteing and garnishing. The only reason no one wanted my help was because the amount of food was reducing considerably with my frequent taste testing. I still find myself attracted to food shows n food blogs and enjoy having an over the counter chat with my kitchen expert aunts!

5. Sports..I guess i wouldnt have glanced at this word if i had a brother sibling. I felt sorry for my dad having no company to watch sports and thats how i first began to take an interest in it. I loved to hear him making suggestions for the coach n captain of the cricket team, the way he yelled when someone dropped a catch [if it was the team he supported]..lol..it was fun..he would hav reacted even if i wasnt complimenting his opinions..but still i took it as the responsibility of a daughter who should take care of a father with no boy child to share the men's world!! I dont think he ever understood that..though i had the proud air of doing something great for him!! I am sure he must have thot i was trying to catch his attention :D whatever that may be, i started liking cricket.then tennis n monica seles ...and thus it widened to basket ball,table tennis, badminton, golf ,pool n wht not god knws...I did take part in some of them at school...and i still am ready to play if i ever get a chance .

6. I love observing the nature and I enjoy its beauty very much. Though I have been seeing them over more than two decades, I still cast a glance at the blushing orange sun and feel like my cheeks r radiant n smiling too..I look at the blooming beauties around me and feel that being coloured suited none better than them..I look at the spotless blue sky and feel that only they can be more beautiful with the white cloudy pimples on them...and on and on goes my passion for these silent adorable things of joy!!

7. Babies, kids...they are irresistable bundles of happiness and fun. I love to fondle them, play with them, hear their innocent talks and be a part in their harmless mischieves. I often find myself tempted to wake up the little darlings and play with them. And I must say i have successfully attempted that with some of my younger cousins n few of my elder cousins babies. I only had to tickle their feet ..and they wake up with a big siren followed by mom's consoling n food n then ..its play time !!! :D

8. This may sound strange..but yes..I observe people and try to imitate some of their actions or talks. I dont imitate their behaviour in life but i find myself repeating something that i find interesting, it can be the accent n tone of a news reporter or a new friend, the style of walking , or some facial expressions. So next time people, beware..am watching the uniqueness in you :)

9. Religion is something i find necessary . I think its a basic need for everyone to know that there is someone for you , someone who loves u no matter who u are, someone who forgives you no matter what u did, some one who always have time to listen to u, someone who can solve ur problems , someone who can guess what we want and give it to us, and most of all someone who doesnt expect anything from us and will still be there for us no matter what. As we all know, someone who could do all this wouldnt be human and will be divine.. so no matter what anyone says abt god, i would like to believe he is there and is most willing to believe in eternal happiness!!

10. From when I first saw it, I fell in love with it. Am talking abt that lovely white gown of mother earth. Snow was something which made my breath n heart freeze for a moment. I was lucky enough to have few snow experiences but it still fills me with excitement to watch it and feel it.

11. I hate ice creams but i love chocolates. I remember that when i was abt 8yrs old, my cousins used to bribe me to tell everyone that i love ice cream so that i can collect my share and give it to them. I watched in amusement how my bully cousin bro appu who used to irritate me always used to soften for this particular occasion! But for chocolates I could cry if some one even asked me a bite for a taste. Well, my hubby agrees that I havent changed much regarding that!!

12. Unlike the normal behaviour of ladies of my age, I take very less interest in grooming myself. I can be very lazy to change even an ear ring that I may go ahead with Silver ear rings , a gold chain and a white dress[I still do not see who can notice if i wear a pearl set with white dress or a small gold chain with some ear ring I think will suit my face].My cousin Maria and my sis tresa were my main critics ..not to mention my younger cousins in my mom's side who would keep asking me to look around and learn one or two to have some fashion sense!! I did the best I could. I simply left my dress material shopping to my mom and the tailoring advices to my sis or Maria. I was bothered only for measurements n was free from complaints!!

13. Shopping is interesting to me only if it involves something that i have wanted to buy. Dresses, shoes and hand bags are an exception. Other than that my recent shopping interest is kitchenware . Shopping is usually need based and i wouldnt classify myself as a shopaholic being the small kanjoos that I am.

14. I get bored with home interiors from time to time. I know its weird, but I have this habit of rearranging the furntiure and adding or deleting items from one room to another once i get bored with the usual set up. I always used to do this on the first day of my study leave. It was something that gave me a result immediately and uplifted my spirits so that i could finally start studying. My mom just thot it was an excuse to delay studies and never appreciated my sincere efforts :(

15. On an idle day, the first thing that I find interesting to do is cleaning home. During the busy hours, it would have been scattered with clothes, newspapers, coffee mugs , books...well the usual stuffs. My mom is an extraodinarily strict person when it comes to cleanliness. My dad like most men, never showed an interest in it. Me and my sis were occasional clean people who tidied up things. But then slowly I found a pleasure in cleaning a mess and enjoying the outcome. That lives in me upto this day and is a constant trouble for my hubby as it used to be for my dad. I keep cleaning the tables and arranging things in the shelves assigned to them only to find my dad[nw my hubby] yelling at me to bring it to him. When I tried to reason with him that he should be happy i cleaned the table he used to reply " I find it easier to get all my things from the table rather than searching shelves..so stop tidying my table"...so much for my clean intentions!!

16. Driving and dancing. I have attempted these[mainly due to requirement] n can manage just ok... Driving , my dad used to say is a necessity for everyone. Reducing dependability on driving gives a lot of freedom to people i believe. As for dancing, i enjoy watching all forms of dance and appreciate the talent a lot. My dancing classes ended in 4th grade when we shifted home the first time. I only made the next apperance during college group dances when they ran short of people!

17. I am not a great movie fan. My theatre movie rate was like 2/yr till marriage. Then it changed to like 3/month. Nowadays i find myself asking my hubby whens the next movie coming :)

18. Tom n Jerry..My all time favourite cartoon. I still watch cartoon network and nickelodeon whenever i get time.

19. One thing that i remember from my childhood days is tht i was a great foodie. Well , I still am one. I remember the days when I used to complain that food for four was not enough for even me ..such was my craving for food that i loved. I am a rice person and my fav combo in rice is sambhar n pappadam. And chinese food is another of my fav cuisines. I love fish fry too..not to mention the kallu shappu fish recipes I have had during kumarakam trips.

20. Soft toys are something that i was always fond of. That love hasnt dimished a bit . I envy the kids who are born now and have all the new lovely toys and dolls. I do wish i was born a little late. I however successfully convinced my hubby that soft toys are a romantic gift for ladies . Hopefully he tries to impress me with soft toys on every occasion we celebrate, so tht by the end of 25yrs ..may b I'll have a collection that a 2yr old may envy..after all am asking toys n not diamonds..he shud be happy..

21. I have never given much thought to health and wealth. I always thot it was something for the old people..like parents, elders.I never considered myself in that category until i heard recently abt people of my age being affected by cholesterol, Blood pressure etc. I was wondering if it was really tht i grew old or that people are too unconcerned..or may be both as i finally came to realize. So, at times i take a resolution to watch my diet and my pocket. But havent been progressively successful.

22. Is it a good thing to be frank? It depends on the occasion right? But for me, I never really figured out the so called occasions to be frank that people appreciate it or to keep my mouth shut when so desired of me. So,it usually ends up in awkward moments with my new acquaintances. And being the talkative that I am..I move on to the next topic smartly..or rather.. deliberately.. :D

23. My idea of a vacation is adventure. Be it trekking, water sports or riding on a camel. I give myself a day to absorb the beauty of the place..And then I become a part of it.

24. Patriotism is a word that brings goosebumps in me. I am not so much as a patriot in action. But I do respect the land which gave me a space to grow up. The patriotic songs which came in TV always triggerd my blood cells.."Mile sur mera thumaara", "Vandemaatharam", " Maa thujhe salaam by A.R. Rahman" are just few of them..

25. And last but not the least, I shall conclude with my few thoughts on Love and Hope. These are like my right and left leg which carries me forward in this short path of life. I wouldnt describe love as something abstract..for from my family and friends I have always felt it in words and deeds. And hope is what I have when everything else seems unreachable. Its hope that gives a pull on my leg and changes my route to make things within reach.

I would like to tag my friends
Meghna,
Soorya,
Smitha Jobi,
Afzal,
Preethy,
Ria,
Priyanka Joseph

with me-me tag!! Please take it up only if you are interested..No compulsions.. :)

യാത്രാമൊഴി

2009-03-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

Trying to recreate my words on a topic which I wrote in high school and misplaced!

എനിക്ക് മടങ്ങി പോവാന്‍ നേരമായി. തിരിച്ചു ചെല്ലുമ്പോള്‍ അവരെന്നെ തള്ളിപറയുമോ? അല്ലെങ്കിലും ഞാന്‍ എന്തുപറഞ്ഞാണ് എന്നെ ന്യായീകരിക്കുക?എന്നിലുണ്ടായിരുന്ന ദൈവത്തിന്‍റെ അംശം ഞാന്‍ എന്നേ നഷ്ടപെടുത്തിയിരിക്കുന്നു. എന്‍റെ ആത്മാവിനെ തള്ളിപ്പറഞ്ഞു ഉപേക്ഷിച്ച എന്നെ സ്വര്‍ഗപടിവാതിലില്‍ ആരു കാത്തു നില്ല്ക്കും? എന്നിലെ ജീവന്‍റെ അംശം നശിപ്പിച്ച എന്നെ , തിരികെ ഏല്‍പ്പിക്കാന്‍ നന്മയുടെ ഒരു കണിക പോലും അവശേഷിപ്പിക്കാഞ്ഞ എന്നെ ഇരുകൈയ്യും നീട്ടി സ്വീകരിക്കാന്‍ മാലാഖമാര്‍ പറന്നെത്തുമെന്നു എന്തിന് ഞാന്‍ വ്യാമോഹിച്ചു? ഈ ലോകത്തിന്‍റെ കണ്ണഞ്ചിപ്പിക്കുന്ന സൌന്ദര്യത്തിലേക്ക് എന്നെ പറഞ്ഞയച്ചതെന്തിനു? ഈ സുഖങ്ങള്‍ എനിക്കല്ലായിരുന്നെങ്കില്‍ അങ്ങെന്തിനിവയെ സൃഷ്ടിച്ചു? വെറും കളിമണ്‍ കളിപ്പാട്ടങ്ങളായ ഞങ്ങള്‍ പ്രലോഭനങ്ങളുടെ തോരാമഴയത്ത് എങ്ങനെ പിടിച്ചു നില്ക്കും? പണ്ടു യേശുക്രിസ്തു കുരിശു ചുമക്കാന്‍ ഭൂമിയില്‍ അവതരിച്ചപ്പോള്‍ അങ്ങയെ വിളിച്ചു അപേക്ഷിച്ചത് അങ്ങോര്‍ക്കുന്നുവോ? കഴിയുമെങ്കില്‍ ഈ പാനപാത്രം എടുത്തു മാറ്റുമോ എന്ന് മനുഷ്യനായ ദൈവം അന്ന് പ്രാത്ഥിച്ചു. ശാരീരികമായ ആ വേദനകളെ താങ്ങാന്‍ അങ്ങയുടെ പുത്രന്‍ ഭയക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ഞങ്ങള്‍ ആ ദേഹത്തെ കാത്തുപാലിച്ചതും അതിനാല്‍ ദേഹിയെ നോവിപ്പിച്ചതും ഞങ്ങളുടെ ഉത്കണ്ഠ കൊണ്ടാണെന്നോര്‍ത്ത് അങ്ങ് ക്ഷമിക്കുകില്ലേ? പതിവ്രതയായ സീതയെ ഉപേക്ഷിക്കേണ്ടി വന്നപ്പോള്‍ ഭഗവാനായ രാമനും മനസ്സു നൊന്തില്ലേ? മാനസിക സമ്മര്‍ദ്ദങളുടെ അഗ്നിപരീക്ഷകളില്‍ ഈ ദുര്‍ബലരായ മാനവര്‍ അപ്പോള്‍ഉരുകിതീരില്ലേ? കൊടുന്കാറ്റിനെയും കടലിനെയും ശാസിച്ച അങ്ങ് ഞങ്ങളെ തകര്‍ത്ത ദുരാഗ്രഹങള്‍എന്തേ തകര്‍ത്തില്ല? കാളിയന്‍റെ മുകളില്‍ താണ്ഡവമാടിയ അങ്ങേക്ക് ഈ മനുഷ്യന്‍റെ ചെയ്തികളെ തടയാമായിരുന്നില്ലേ? അവിടുന്നെന്നെ എന്തിനീ ഭൂമിയില്‍ അയച്ചു എന്ന് ഞാന്‍ ഒരിക്കല്‍ പോലും ചിന്തിച്ചില്ല, അന്വേഷിക്കാന്‍ കൂട്ടാക്കിയില്ല. ഇനിയൊട്ടു ഒന്നും ചെയ്യാന്‍ നേരവുമില്ല. സമയം വളരെ വൈകിയിരിക്കുന്നു.ആ എരിയുന്ന നിത്യാഗ്നി അടുത്തെന്നതുപോലെ എന്‍റെ നെറ്റിയില്‍ വിയര്‍പ്പു തുള്ളികള്‍ വെപ്രാളപെട്ടു ഓടി ഇറങ്ങുന്നു . ഈ യാത്രയില്‍ ഞാന്‍ എല്ലാം നേടി .തിരിച്ചുപോവാന്‍ ഒരു സ്ഥലം ഒഴികെ. ഈ ജീവിതത്തില്‍ ഞാന്‍ എല്ലാം അറിഞ്ഞു . എന്‍റെ ആത്മാവിന്‍റെ പരമാനന്ദം ഒഴികെ. യാത്ര ചൊല്ലാന്‍ എനിക്കാവുന്നില്ല . ഞാന്‍ പോകുന്നതെവിടെയെന്നു ഞാനറിയുന്നില്ല .

My dear Woman...

2009-03-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

This is not something about a woman that I like or one that I adore. Its about the wonderful race called Women. Its so wonderful to be one of them. I am not being unfair to the other equally important race here.Nor am i calling my race a superior one as i have no idea what other races feel like unless am one of them. But it sure is enough to be the one that I am right now. I have read lot about how important the role of a woman in life is , how complex it is compared to a men's life , how intelligent and stupid some women were, how strong and weak they can be ..how nations were made n destroyed due to a woman..how a womans love changed people and empires..wow..doesnt all that sound incredible? To be part of such a happening race is really something that makes me proud. From the lullaby of a mother, the fights of a sister, the passion of a lover, the sacrifices and dedication of a wife to the advices of the old granny..each stage of our life we are thankful for a wonderful woman who made it possible to make our life worth. I often wondered if God made each new creation better and flawless than the first and in more resemblence to him ..if So, the woman was the last[acc to my belief in the holy bible]..the best of all creations..the partner of man who could support him when they failed and still stand strong..the helper of man when he lacked few skills.. What he lacked, he gave it to her..and yet he made her humble and loving to accept man and his superior nature. What a wonderful theory to uplift your mood when you are let down by a man right?

The beauty and power of women lies not in physical appearance or strength i believe as does many intelligent wonderful people[really!!]. And those who failed to recognize that have tortured them in all ages, all over the world. The intelligent woman was often framed cunning, the beautiful as stupid and the server a slave. Its a pity to see that many still dont recognize the value of a woman. A girl child is still a pain somewhere, an unmarried lass a burden on home, a poor wife a slave of her hubby in some home and the old lady a bad curse to bear. Respect to woman was always considered the sign of an esteemed personality. But i guess its all as good as a word written in water for some. Its sad to read the abundant amount of rapes, slaughters, tortures that go around us everyday.Only if everyone believed that the goddessess of ancient earth, the cleopatras, the princess diana or mother theresa ..all were once a part of us...and still lives somewhere as one among us.. sigh!

Note: I agree that there are educated cultured people who respect women and I really appreciate them!

The Infected Bud!

2009-02-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

I love kids. They are so cute and so full of fun. And cuteness is not the only factor which attracts me to kids. I like to play with them. Their imagination often astonishes me. The way they try to imitate something that fascinates them and their little cooked up stories about cartoons and chocolates are enough to cheer up anyone. Some are too smart and create a real dilemma for parents. I recently saw my cousin's kids .They were very playful and helpful[and taught me their new games] and I dont knw how soon I spent those 3hrs with them. The older one was about 3 years old and the younger abt a year and a half. During the dessert time after lunch, their appa [papa] tried to dissuade the elder one from having ice cream. He was telling her not to eat ice creams coz it was too cold and her throat would be affected and she'll have fever et all. The clever girl didnt pause for a second, but came up with a brilliant solution. "Heat the ice cream and give me then!" I was laughing hearing her innocent answer and proud face which had solved all the problems.

I was thinking when had I ever been so confident abt an answer and not worried what consequences a word of mine would bring. When did i lose that childish innocence and frank nature? And how long will it be before the kids who spoke n walked so freely felt the restraint to do so? How wonderful it would have been if people just grew up without having to be artificial in talks and actions? How different is the sincerity of a kid extending hand for friendship to someone of his age and a man extending a formal handshake to his new acquaintance? When those kids roll out on the floor laughing at their own little jokes and throw mud and balls at each other, the man checks on his new friend's background and throw stones of jealousy and pride at each other. When did that wonderful blooming bud lose its smile and roll inward to itself? And why did those buds shun from the light which strengthened them? Why did we ever turn away from the goodness in us and start withering out well ahead of what was planned for us? I do not have a definite answer. But sometimes I do think that without the world changing completely there is no hope for any born child to preserve his/her pure mind. If there are traitors , liers and thieves around , how do we teach children to trust and be honest? If innocence n frankness can cost you your life, then who would preach it to the ones they love? And if a decieving smile of friendship can lead a person to his ruins, how can we extend our hearts to those hands? And so,the buds which promised the springs for us will never blossom here ...they are infected from the dangerous soil in which they grow !!

Lovely Abstract Things!

2009-02-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

Pic:Yosemite Falls, Dec 2008

I was trying to catch a rainbow. Well, they defnitely do exist.

But then why cant i just possess it. why are things so lovely so abstract? Was it meant by the creator that the most beautiful things mustnt be possessed ? When i was playing in the little creek near to my ancestral home, a beautiful wind came to me singing along with the leaves of the rubber, teak and other trees which surrounded me .It blew for just an instant and was gone.How i wanted to hold tht wind and do tht tickling to my face again. And then there was this wonderful smell when the first time rain fell on earth and gave the earth a beautiful aroma..It was so strange..so unique..i waited to smell again when the next rain came. But i didnt know it again till next year. If i could just store that unique smell which gave me a fresh feeling like old dusts were washed away and made me pure n radiant like those greeny leaves!! So , thats what God was thinking.It was not

for me to keep getting all the good stuffs whenever i

wanted.. I had to go through droughts for a year to get the fresh smell of rain..and I had to experience the sun's heat between the cooling rains, to see a rainbow..And once i get the joy out of it, it will be taken away before i get used to it. Was man also abstract then? No. Definitely No. I could possess someone.I could always have him/her whenever i wished. Atleast tht was one lovely thing i could finally possess ,that i could feel, that i could love and keep with me for as long as i wished.Or, so i thought. Creator's rule doesnt change here too i guess. I had barely known him .Its been 10 years . But every single day i was only learning to possess him through all these years. Through roses and thorns in our life, through the entangled strings of his passions in life..i was just starting to know him completely and possess that great heart with all its beauty and burns when it was suddenly taken away from me. That was the moment i despised all lovely things . They are lovely but they are abstract, they will leave me and mock at my burning desire to own them..Only the creator owns everything lovely..and no one else does...and its just a glimpse we get of his heavenly world through this short-lived abstract beautiful things!! Thats my belief..Thats my Hope!

പിണക്കം

2009-02-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

Pic: Lake Tahoe , Sep 2008

എന്തേ എന്‍ സൂര്യന്‍ പിണങ്ങി നില്‍പ്പു
എന്നീ മഴത്തുള്ളികള്‍ മന്ത്രിച്ചുവോ ?
മുഖം മറച്ച് അവന്‍ മറഞ്ഞതെന്തിനെന്നു
മയങ്ങുമെന്നോട് ചൊല്ലുവാനായി
ആ മഴയിങ്ങു വെക്കം മണ്ണിലെത്തി
ആ കാറ്റും എന്നെ മെല്ലെ തൊട്ടുണര്‍ത്തി

നിദ്രയിലാണ്ട എന്‍ ഹൃദയകവാടങ്ങള്‍
മഴയുടെ പരിഭവം കേട്ടതില്ല
കാറ്റും ദലങ്ങളും തേങ്ങി കരഞ്ഞതുമെന്‍
മരവിച്ച കാതുകളില്‍ പതിഞ്ഞതില്ല
കോപിച്ചു ഗര്‍ജിച്ച കാര്‍മേഘത്തിന്‍ ഉള്ളിലും
ഞാനെന്‍റെ സൂര്യനെ തിരഞ്ഞു നോക്കി.

വൈകാതെ വരുമെന്നെന്‍ മാനസം മോഹിച്ചു
കാത്തിരുന്നു ഞാന്‍ മഴക്കാറുകള്‍ വിടചൊല്ലാന്‍
തോഴനാം ചന്ദ്രനെ കാവല്‍ അയച്ചില്ല
നക്ഷത്ര ദീപനാളങ്ങളെ എരിയിച്ചുമില്ല
ആ കാറുകള്‍ മനസ്സില്‍ നിന്നകന്നില്ലല്ലോ
ഈ രാത്രിയില്‍ നീയെന്നെ മറന്നുവല്ലോ

തേങ്ങി ഉരുകി ആ നാഴികകള്‍ കടന്നീടവേ
കാറുകള്‍ മെല്ലെയലിഞ്ഞു പോയി
വാടി തളര്‍ന്ന എന്‍ മൃദുലമാം മേനിയില്‍
എന്‍ സൂര്യന്‍ മെല്ലെപ്പുണര്‍നിളംചൂട് പകരവേ
കണ്മുന്നില്‍ നില്‍ക്കുമെന്‍ ജീവനാഥന്‍റെ
പുഞ്ചിരിയാലെന്മുഖം ശോഭിച്ചു ജ്വലിച്ചു നിന്നു!

Quotes

2009-02-17T09:24:00.000-08:00

when i speak, i want my heart to talk to me

When i sing, i want the chords to flow to me

when i dance, i want to be on floating clouds

when i glance in mirror, i want tht glow radiating from me

and then i knw am truly in love

and then i knw that you are near!

Friends and food are alike in one way. If u chose the right flavours in the right amounts you get a wonderful combination and gives you much happiness..else its a disaster!!

A heart for me

2009-02-15T12:14:00.001-08:00

Though I am speaking of the heart which beats for me, the pic below is the heart cake[attempt] i made for my valentine !

I wasnt sure how it all started

But you sure had me startled

The day you gave your heart to me

And asked for mine with a plea.

It wasnt built on candies or cones

It didnt boast of a heart in gold

What i found was a friendly call

That ur heart told was mine till old.

I held on to it from then to now

And saw me seated on its throne

I'll reign on it and let time bow

To an unending rain of love ever born !

And when I see ur sparkling eyes

I see me dancing in your life

To a wonderful tune that your heart plays

For ur ever loving, happy, content wife!!

A sad Love song !!

2009-02-14T17:43:00.000-08:00

Everything was for your love.

It never mattered how,

All others hated me for it;

I never cared about it a bit.

I defied my world for u,

And my world was my family;

I would never get it back I knew,

Yet I came to Ur life happily.

I loved u with an innocent mind,

I cared u with a motherly heart,

I walked with u as a friend in need,

And fought with u like a naughty kid.

Days went by and u were away.

My love was patient till the day,

When I could feel Ur presence again

And see u by my side again.

When birds chirped the arrival of spring,

And sang songs of eternal love,

I sat alone in my old swing

And envied the flowers which blossomed in love.

I cried for u, I fought for u,

I was in desperate need of Ur love.

I forgot Ur hardships for creating,

A world of love just for u and me.

Now one day when u’ll ask me to leave,

All I’ll have is a heart full of grief;

Everything that I did for Ur love,

Will then include the end of this love….

Philosophically me!!

2009-02-14T17:30:00.000-08:00

Like an earthen vessel i stay in this heavy rains of life! At times i dissolve in it and lose myself in its beauty..and at times the rains shatter me with its harsh showers..but someone always takes me back from the earth and puts me in a fire i think i can never withstand..but which only makes me stronger and myself as whole again..!!

I am your wings. Though you cannot see me I will always be there by your side .I will hold u from falling down when u face heat and storms and will take you to your destination where your hopes and dreams lie!

I was a candle, one among millions. It was u who picked me out of the millions and lighted me up. I started burning out my life for u from then. I made u happier by melting out more and more and making myself brighter for u. I was the only companion for u in the darkness of ur loving heart and in the loneliness of ur gloomy world. I loved u so much that I made stars ur friends who would light up ur dark nights when I wasn’t there. But once u left me alone to see the world illuminated with the fake smiles of bulbs ,fluorescent lamps and lasers. U were lost in the mesmerizing effect of their appealing look that u forgot the stars who came for u those nights. They blinked their thousand eyes at u but ur eyes were filled with the artificial smiles of the dancing illuminations and u never saw them. I waited for u day and night without knowing that I lost the value in ur life. My heart was melting out with love for u but u were busy with ur new companions who made ur nights days and drained your light out of you. You never remembered the sincerity that I showed, to guide you in darkness without expecting anything from u, from when u possessed me. Now ,realizing that am useless in brightening ur life and making u happy and knowing that my life ,my love, which I wished to burn out for u is valueless, am going back as one among the millions , waiting to melt out for someone who needs me.