Monday, February 23, 2009

The Infected Bud!

I love kids. They are so cute and so full of fun. And cuteness is not the only factor which attracts me to kids. I like to play with them. Their imagination often astonishes me. The way they try to imitate something that fascinates them and their little cooked up stories about cartoons and chocolates are enough to cheer up anyone. Some are too smart and create a real dilemma for parents. I recently saw my cousin's kids .They were very playful and helpful[and taught me their new games] and I dont knw how soon I spent those 3hrs with them. The older one was about 3 years old and the younger abt a year and a half. During the dessert time after lunch, their appa [papa] tried to dissuade the elder one from having ice cream. He was telling her not to eat ice creams coz it was too cold and her throat would be affected and she'll have fever et all. The clever girl didnt pause for a second, but came up with a brilliant solution. "Heat the ice cream and give me then!" I was laughing hearing her innocent answer and proud face which had solved all the problems.
I was thinking when had I ever been so confident abt an answer and not worried what consequences a word of mine would bring. When did i lose that childish innocence and frank nature? And how long will it be before the kids who spoke n walked so freely felt the restraint to do so? How wonderful it would have been if people just grew up without having to be artificial in talks and actions? How different is the sincerity of a kid extending hand for friendship to someone of his age and a man extending a formal handshake to his new acquaintance? When those kids roll out on the floor laughing at their own little jokes and throw mud and balls at each other, the man checks on his new friend's background and throw stones of jealousy and pride at each other. When did that wonderful blooming bud lose its smile and roll inward to itself? And why did those buds shun from the light which strengthened them? Why did we ever turn away from the goodness in us and start withering out well ahead of what was planned for us? I do not have a definite answer. But sometimes I do think that without the world changing completely there is no hope for any born child to preserve his/her pure mind. If there are traitors , liers and thieves around , how do we teach children to trust and be honest? If innocence n frankness can cost you your life, then who would preach it to the ones they love? And if a decieving smile of friendship can lead a person to his ruins, how can we extend our hearts to those hands? And so,the buds which promised the springs for us will never blossom here ...they are infected from the dangerous soil in which they grow !!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lovely Abstract Things!

Pic:Yosemite Falls, Dec 2008
I was trying to catch a rainbow. Well, they defnitely do exist.
But then why cant i just possess it. why are things so lovely so abstract? Was it meant by the creator that the most beautiful things mustnt be possessed ? When i was playing in the little creek near to my ancestral home, a beautiful wind came to me singing along with the leaves of the rubber, teak and other trees which surrounded me .It blew for just an instant and was gone.How i wanted to hold tht wind and do tht tickling to my face again. And then there was this wonderful smell when the first time rain fell on earth and gave the earth a beautiful aroma..It was so unique..i waited to smell again when the next rain came. But i didnt know it again till next year. If i could just store that unique smell which gave me a fresh feeling like old dusts were washed away and made me pure n radiant like those greeny leaves!! So , thats what God was thinking.It was not 
for me to keep getting all the good stuffs whenever i
wanted.. I had to go through droughts for a year to get the fresh smell of rain..and I had to experience the sun's heat between the cooling rains, to see a rainbow..And once i get the joy out of it, it will be taken away before i get used to it. Was man also abstract then? No. Definitely No. I could possess someone.I could always have him/her whenever i wished. Atleast tht was one lovely thing i could finally possess ,that i could feel, that i could love and keep with me for as long as i wished.Or, so i thought. Creator's rule doesnt change here too i guess. I had barely known him .Its been 10 years . But every single day i was only learning to possess him through all these years. Through roses and thorns in our life, through the entangled strings of his passions in life..i was just starting to know him completely and possess that great heart with all its beauty and burns when it was suddenly taken away from me. That was the moment i despised all lovely things . They are lovely but they are abstract, they will leave me and mock at my burning desire to own them..Only the creator owns everything lovely..and no one else does...and its just a glimpse we get of his heavenly world through this short-lived abstract beautiful things!! Thats my belief..Thats my Hope!


Pic: Lake Tahoe , Sep 2008

എന്തേ എന്‍ സൂര്യന്‍ പിണങ്ങി നില്‍പ്പു
എന്നീ മഴത്തുള്ളികള്‍ മന്ത്രിച്ചുവോ ?
മുഖം മറച്ച് അവന്‍ മറഞ്ഞതെന്തിനെന്നു
മയങ്ങുമെന്നോട് ചൊല്ലുവാനായി
മഴയിങ്ങു വെക്കം മണ്ണിലെത്തി
കാറ്റും എന്നെ മെല്ലെ തൊട്ടുണര്‍ത്തി

നിദ്രയിലാണ്ട എന്‍ ഹൃദയകവാടങ്ങള്‍
മഴയുടെ പരിഭവം കേട്ടതില്ല
കാറ്റും ദലങ്ങളും തേങ്ങി കരഞ്ഞതുമെന്‍
മരവിച്ച കാതുകളില്‍ പതിഞ്ഞതില്ല
കോപിച്ചു ഗര്‍ജിച്ച കാര്‍മേഘത്തിന്‍ ഉള്ളിലും
ഞാനെന്‍റെ സൂര്യനെ തിരഞ്ഞു നോക്കി.

വൈകാതെ വരുമെന്നെന്‍ മാനസം മോഹിച്ചു
കാത്തിരുന്നു ഞാന്‍ മഴക്കാറുകള്‍ വിടചൊല്ലാന്‍
തോഴനാം ചന്ദ്രനെ കാവല്‍ അയച്ചില്ല
നക്ഷത്ര ദീപനാളങ്ങളെ എരിയിച്ചുമില്ല
കാറുകള്‍ മനസ്സില്‍ നിന്നകന്നില്ലല്ലോ
രാത്രിയില്‍ നീയെന്നെ മറന്നുവല്ലോ

തേങ്ങി ഉരുകി നാഴികകള്‍ കടന്നീടവേ
കാറുകള്‍ മെല്ലെയലിഞ്ഞു പോയി
വാടി തളര്‍ന്ന എന്‍ മൃദുലമാം മേനിയില്‍
എന്‍ സൂര്യന്‍ മെല്ലെപ്പുണര്‍നിളംചൂട്  പകരവേ
കണ്മുന്നില്‍ നില്‍ക്കുമെന്‍ ജീവനാഥന്‍റെ
പുഞ്ചിരിയാലെന്മുഖം ശോഭിച്ചു ജ്വലിച്ചു നിന്നു!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


when i speak, i want my heart to talk to me
When i sing, i want the chords to flow to me
when i dance, i want to be on floating clouds
when i glance in mirror, i want tht glow radiating from me
and then i knw am truly in love
and then i knw that you are near!

Friends and food are alike in one way. If u chose the right flavours in the right amounts you get a wonderful combination and gives you much happiness..else its a disaster!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A heart for me

Though I am speaking of the heart which beats for me, the pic below is the heart cake[attempt] i made for my valentine !

I wasnt sure how it all started
But you sure had me startled
The day you gave your heart to me
And asked for mine with a plea.

It wasnt built on candies or cones
It didnt boast of a heart in gold
What i found was a friendly call
That ur heart told was mine till old.

I held on to it from then to now
And saw me seated on its throne
I'll reign on it and let time bow
To an unending rain of love ever born !

And when I see ur sparkling eyes
I see me dancing in your life
To a wonderful tune that your heart plays
For ur ever loving, happy, content wife!! 

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A sad Love song !!

Everything was for your love.
It never mattered how,
All others hated me for it;
I never cared about it a bit.

I defied my world for u,
And my world was my family;
I would never get it back I knew,
Yet I came to Ur life happily.

I loved u with an innocent mind,
I cared u with a motherly heart,
I walked with u as a friend in need,
And fought with u like a naughty kid.

Days went by and u were away.
My love was patient till the day,
When I could feel Ur presence again
And see u by my side again.

When birds chirped the arrival of spring,
And sang songs of eternal love,
I sat alone in my old swing
And envied the flowers which blossomed in love.

I cried for u, I fought for u,
I was in desperate need of Ur love.
I forgot Ur hardships for creating,
A world of love just for u and me.

Now one day when u’ll ask me to leave,
All I’ll have is a heart full of grief;
Everything that I did for Ur love,
Will then include the end of this love….

Philosophically me!!

Like an earthen vessel i stay in this heavy rains of life! At times i dissolve in it and lose myself in its beauty..and at times the rains shatter me with its harsh showers..but someone always takes me back from the earth and puts me in a fire i think i can never withstand..but which only makes me stronger and myself as whole again..!!
I am your wings. Though you cannot see me I will always be there by your side .I will hold u from falling down when u face heat and storms and will take you to your destination where your hopes and dreams lie!

I was a candle, one among millions. It was u who picked me out of the millions and lighted me up. I started burning out my life for u from then. I made u happier by melting out more and more and  making myself brighter for u. I was the only companion for u in the darkness of ur loving heart and in the loneliness of ur gloomy world. I loved u so much that I made stars ur friends who would light up ur dark nights when I wasn’t there. But once u left me alone to see the world illuminated with the fake smiles of bulbs ,fluorescent lamps and lasers. U were lost in the mesmerizing effect of their appealing look that u forgot the stars who came for u those nights. They blinked their thousand eyes  at u  but ur eyes were filled with the artificial smiles of the dancing  illuminations and u never saw them. I waited for  u day and night without knowing that I lost the value in ur life. My heart was melting out  with love for u  but u were busy with ur new companions who made ur nights days and drained your light out of you. You never remembered the sincerity that I showed, to guide you in darkness without expecting anything from u, from when u possessed me. Now ,realizing that am useless in brightening ur life and making u happy  and knowing that my life ,my love, which I wished to burn out for u is valueless, am going back as one among the millions , waiting to melt out for someone who needs me.